Tuesday September 25th the last day of this 2012 Road Tour. We have three stops today, and then we head back to Los Angeles for a few hours of sleep before we head home. The time has gone quickly, but it seems as if I left home years ago.
The rally stop this morning is for Heidi Ring and is in Chico California. We pull up to a beautiful park that is kind of in the center of town, so there is a lot of car traffic and pedestrian traffic which is always a good thing. It is a beautiful California day and as we hop out of the van we are met with big hugs from Heidi's mom; her brother and sister follow closely behind. I think immediately of the one (Heidi) who is not there, and I remember what that feels like.
Visually this stop makes you stop and take it all in, the park setting, the balloons, the river, the beautiful sign in table and handcrafted thank yous. All of this done so lovingly for Heidi. The media arrives and the event begins with prayer and then family members and friends speak about Heidi and her disappearance.
What strikes me this morning as it does so often at these stops is that today in this moment for this family, there is more going on than an awareness campaign, there is more going on than the reminding of a community, town and yes law enforcement that one of their own is still missing. All of which is vitally important. For the families though, these moments at their stop is also about honoring their loved one and celebrating who they are, something they don't get to do quite often. It is a time to stop and remember.
I stand in the back taking pictures and I am able to get a sense of who Heidi is by the way everyone speaks. Today for some reason though the word why keeps running through my head. Why so many?, Why this family? Why my family? Why the pain, why the suffering? There is no answer, but there is hope! I am reminded that through the unknowing and the pain and emotional roller coaster we as family ride, there are many blessing and graces disguised on this journey, we sometimes just need to look for them. I know this tour and CUE and a woman named Monica and all her selfless volunteers are a blessing and that grace disguised in my own life and the lives of many others on this journey.
I am reminded as well as I stand and listen and take it all in that this is where my faith comes in. That is how I got and continue to get through, my God and His amazing unconditional love, and knowing that I never was or ever am alone in any of this. In speaking with other family's I know this to be true for others as well. Sometimes that faith and that love are what we need to trust in and at many times it is the only thing there is.
We head to the river with our leaves on which we have each written something. We release the leaves and it seems as if each one of us gathered together for a brief moment are alone, alone in our thoughts and our prayers as we let the leaves go down the river. It is a beautiful moment, one that I won't soon forget.
Heading back to pack up and leave Heidi's mom and her sister look at the balloons still tied to the tree and they ask me to hold them as they pop them with great force and tenacity. I oblige and a smile comes across my face as they begin to laugh as they tear these balloons apart, it is a much needed release. They ask if I would like to try one and I do, just one though and it really does feel good. We hug and say goodbye and head off to the next stop, all this and the day has just begun.
Lisa Valentino
For those reading this blog it should be noted that Heidi Rings remains were positively identified on October 10th. Please remember Heidi and her family in your prayers.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Fresno, California
I have been apprehensive about this day since the tour began, but not for the reasons one might think. I was worried about the travel and the logistics. You see, the day before, we had left Bellingham, Washington around lunchtime for a 13 hour drive back to California and then there were 3 rally stops scheduled on this...our last...day. We would continue south, stopping in Chico in the morning, Sacramento in the afternoon, and Fresno at dusk, after which there would be a 4 hour drive back to Los Angeles. And since most of our group would be flying home first thing the following morning, there would be much work to do once we arrived in LA. I was exhausted just thinking about it.
Not that any of this ever matters when we reach a stop.
As we arrived at Casey Berry's stop in a field next to a Walmart, we were immediately greeted by smiling faces. The table, covered with a patchwork quilt, had 3 larger candles (hope, peace and believe) surrounded by many more smaller symbolic candles. The poster board was brightly colored containing pictures of Casey with his sister, Casey with his mom, rainbows, guitars and peace symbols. There was a copy of the book Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer along with the Eddie Vedder CD from the movie soundtrack. All these items, inspired by Casey's life, gave us such a sense of him, which I'm sure was the point.
Casey Berry was 25 when he disappeared on 2-14-07. He was last seen leaving his home in rural Alamosa Colorado, where he lived with his wife, young daughter and another couple. He was presumably headed to visit someone who lived outside of Blanca Colorado, another rural town in Costilla County about 20 miles away. His roommate at the time told police a convoluted story involving Casey's being killed by the man he had gone to visit. The roommate (along with his girlfriend) subsequently vanished and the police have never identified the man he accused.
Casey was raised in Fresno and that's where his family still resides. He is described to me as a son, brother, dad, uncle, nephew and cousin; a free spirited man who should have been a 60's child. His large extended family spent the rally telling stories and honoring him in ways they thought he would enjoy including releasing Chinese lanterns into the night sky. What fun we had figuring out how to light and release these translucent, brightly colored lanterns, watching each one rise and fly away up into the darkness. The best part, though, may have been when the freaked out Walmart manager came running out announcing that he never approved us sending fire up into the Fresno sky.
In speaking with Casey's mom, Terri, I learned she had been at the conference four years ago. We reminisced a bit about that year and I urged her to return. I try to encourage all the families I speak with to attend the yearly conferences, its so important for so many reasons...
We spoke mother to mother about our sons. For the second time in a day I was asked a question I had never gotten before. This time I was more prepared to answer, although, I still stumbled with my words.
"Is it better knowing your son is dead?"
Earlier I had just said yes, which is such a simplistic and predictable answer. Nothing really compares to having your child go missing. In my case, I felt right away that Mathew was dead, I even knew where I thought he was. But, even when your heart knows what happened, there is no proof. Initially recovery is worse because there is no more hope. At least when they are missing, especially initially, there is a chance you may see them again...hold them again. Recovery is a pain unlike any other. As time goes by, you begin to breathe again, and just as you adjusted to living with a missing child you now adjust to having a deceased child. So in the end, yes, it is better.
Elisa Stirling
Not that any of this ever matters when we reach a stop.
As we arrived at Casey Berry's stop in a field next to a Walmart, we were immediately greeted by smiling faces. The table, covered with a patchwork quilt, had 3 larger candles (hope, peace and believe) surrounded by many more smaller symbolic candles. The poster board was brightly colored containing pictures of Casey with his sister, Casey with his mom, rainbows, guitars and peace symbols. There was a copy of the book Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer along with the Eddie Vedder CD from the movie soundtrack. All these items, inspired by Casey's life, gave us such a sense of him, which I'm sure was the point.
Casey Berry was 25 when he disappeared on 2-14-07. He was last seen leaving his home in rural Alamosa Colorado, where he lived with his wife, young daughter and another couple. He was presumably headed to visit someone who lived outside of Blanca Colorado, another rural town in Costilla County about 20 miles away. His roommate at the time told police a convoluted story involving Casey's being killed by the man he had gone to visit. The roommate (along with his girlfriend) subsequently vanished and the police have never identified the man he accused.
Casey was raised in Fresno and that's where his family still resides. He is described to me as a son, brother, dad, uncle, nephew and cousin; a free spirited man who should have been a 60's child. His large extended family spent the rally telling stories and honoring him in ways they thought he would enjoy including releasing Chinese lanterns into the night sky. What fun we had figuring out how to light and release these translucent, brightly colored lanterns, watching each one rise and fly away up into the darkness. The best part, though, may have been when the freaked out Walmart manager came running out announcing that he never approved us sending fire up into the Fresno sky.
In speaking with Casey's mom, Terri, I learned she had been at the conference four years ago. We reminisced a bit about that year and I urged her to return. I try to encourage all the families I speak with to attend the yearly conferences, its so important for so many reasons...
We spoke mother to mother about our sons. For the second time in a day I was asked a question I had never gotten before. This time I was more prepared to answer, although, I still stumbled with my words.
"Is it better knowing your son is dead?"
Earlier I had just said yes, which is such a simplistic and predictable answer. Nothing really compares to having your child go missing. In my case, I felt right away that Mathew was dead, I even knew where I thought he was. But, even when your heart knows what happened, there is no proof. Initially recovery is worse because there is no more hope. At least when they are missing, especially initially, there is a chance you may see them again...hold them again. Recovery is a pain unlike any other. As time goes by, you begin to breathe again, and just as you adjusted to living with a missing child you now adjust to having a deceased child. So in the end, yes, it is better.
Elisa Stirling
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Sacremento, California
We had a little trouble finding the state capital building but managed to arrive on time. This is the second stop in a day of three rallys so we really were trying to be mindful of the time and keep on schedule.
The rally was held on the steps of the building, making many passers by stop and listen to what was going on. Always a good thing, hopefully they walked away with a clearer understanding of the missing person's world, and will remember and pay attention when they pass a flyer or hear a news story.
Jennifer Byers Hernandez' family was hosting the event. Jennifer was 31 when she was last seen in Modesta. She disappeared on 8-24-08 along with her son, Gerardo Barajas Jr (Junior) who was 5 at the time. Although there are not many details available in their case, there are suspicions. Jennifer's family believes that Junior may have been taken to Mexico. I had a talk with her mom who questioned me about what it was like to know Mathew is deceased. She had that familiar look in her eyes as she asked if it was better...
When we first arrived (finally, after almost losing Lisa on the side of the road), there weren't many people there or much going on, but I've become used to these types of beginnings. When the tour first started I would be anxious for the family. Waiting for more arrivals, for the media, wanting them to have a good turnout. Now I know it will happen. Slowly, people will arrive and it will all come together. Most of the time the press arrives late, often as we are preparing to leave. This tends to put us behind, but willing to do whatever is necessary to facilitate them in whatever they need to get the family's story out. I wonder if we need to reiterate that these stops are for only one hour. I wonder if people, and the press see the starting time and do not realize how quickly everything happens.
When we started setting up Jennifer's family had not yet arrived, so we were first greeted by Shelli Madrid. She had hosted a stop for Kathy the week before in Mendocino. Kathy had gone missing in Mendocino, and Shelli had traveled there to host that rally, but the family actually lives here, and so Jennifer's family had included them. I remember this happening on last year's tour. Family members and friends who did not live near their rally stop would show up at another stop closer to where they lived. This is an important aspect of going on tour, I think. They don't have to miss the entire experience because they are unable to travel. They can attend another rally, see their loved one on the banner, honor their person and be involved. After all, every rally, no matter where or whose family hosts, is really for all missing persons and their loved ones.
Jennifer's mother, brother and niece arrived and began their set up. Jennifer's sister has organized this stop and I believe she has been the one in charge since Jennifer went missing 4 years ago. This is something we have talked about many times. Usually when someone goes missing it is a parent or spouse that runs things. If they are unable, it becomes the responsibility of the siblings. In those long standing cases, it often ends up eventually falling to the children or the next generation. Sometimes they were young when the person initially went missing and grew up in this life, sometimes they have been groomed to continue to carry the torch, to not forget, to always seek resolution.
I was sorry not to meet Jennifer's sister, sorry that she was unable to attend, and to see how all her hard work payed off. Her daughter Katelynn filled in for her, the baton being momentarily passed. As we listened, this young adult so versed in her aunt's case began by stating the statistics. Those horribly large, unfathomable numbers of the amount of people who are missing, and who go missing every year. She spoke some about her aunt's case, and the family's problems with getting media attention, getting the police to become more involved. Basically the overall lack of help. She ended with a moving poem that I hadn't heard before called I'm keeping the light on.
Kathy's sister, Anise, told us how Kathy had done everything in her power to provide her a good and stable life. She told stories about her sister and then her it was her uncle's turn. He began by telling us that he was wearing a shirt that Kathy had given him. He said "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Kathy is in heaven and the bad news is that the people responsible are not in hell". His emotions were all over the place. His voice would rise in anger and lower when he spoke of his niece. The visible tug of war we witnessed was one all of us in the missing person community have experienced, I would go so far as to say that we all still do.
There was music at this rally that a local teenage boy provided. When his father got up to speak I thought it was to solicit work. Instead, it was a moving account of how they ended up here on this day. Of how they were invited to participate while playing a fair nearby. Of how they have never met families of the missing before. Of how he could not even grasp how these families must feel. Of how he would feel if his son went missing. Of how their lives are forever changed by what they witnessed today.
Elisa Stirling
The rally was held on the steps of the building, making many passers by stop and listen to what was going on. Always a good thing, hopefully they walked away with a clearer understanding of the missing person's world, and will remember and pay attention when they pass a flyer or hear a news story.
Jennifer Byers Hernandez' family was hosting the event. Jennifer was 31 when she was last seen in Modesta. She disappeared on 8-24-08 along with her son, Gerardo Barajas Jr (Junior) who was 5 at the time. Although there are not many details available in their case, there are suspicions. Jennifer's family believes that Junior may have been taken to Mexico. I had a talk with her mom who questioned me about what it was like to know Mathew is deceased. She had that familiar look in her eyes as she asked if it was better...
When we first arrived (finally, after almost losing Lisa on the side of the road), there weren't many people there or much going on, but I've become used to these types of beginnings. When the tour first started I would be anxious for the family. Waiting for more arrivals, for the media, wanting them to have a good turnout. Now I know it will happen. Slowly, people will arrive and it will all come together. Most of the time the press arrives late, often as we are preparing to leave. This tends to put us behind, but willing to do whatever is necessary to facilitate them in whatever they need to get the family's story out. I wonder if we need to reiterate that these stops are for only one hour. I wonder if people, and the press see the starting time and do not realize how quickly everything happens.
When we started setting up Jennifer's family had not yet arrived, so we were first greeted by Shelli Madrid. She had hosted a stop for Kathy the week before in Mendocino. Kathy had gone missing in Mendocino, and Shelli had traveled there to host that rally, but the family actually lives here, and so Jennifer's family had included them. I remember this happening on last year's tour. Family members and friends who did not live near their rally stop would show up at another stop closer to where they lived. This is an important aspect of going on tour, I think. They don't have to miss the entire experience because they are unable to travel. They can attend another rally, see their loved one on the banner, honor their person and be involved. After all, every rally, no matter where or whose family hosts, is really for all missing persons and their loved ones.
Jennifer's mother, brother and niece arrived and began their set up. Jennifer's sister has organized this stop and I believe she has been the one in charge since Jennifer went missing 4 years ago. This is something we have talked about many times. Usually when someone goes missing it is a parent or spouse that runs things. If they are unable, it becomes the responsibility of the siblings. In those long standing cases, it often ends up eventually falling to the children or the next generation. Sometimes they were young when the person initially went missing and grew up in this life, sometimes they have been groomed to continue to carry the torch, to not forget, to always seek resolution.
I was sorry not to meet Jennifer's sister, sorry that she was unable to attend, and to see how all her hard work payed off. Her daughter Katelynn filled in for her, the baton being momentarily passed. As we listened, this young adult so versed in her aunt's case began by stating the statistics. Those horribly large, unfathomable numbers of the amount of people who are missing, and who go missing every year. She spoke some about her aunt's case, and the family's problems with getting media attention, getting the police to become more involved. Basically the overall lack of help. She ended with a moving poem that I hadn't heard before called I'm keeping the light on.
Kathy's sister, Anise, told us how Kathy had done everything in her power to provide her a good and stable life. She told stories about her sister and then her it was her uncle's turn. He began by telling us that he was wearing a shirt that Kathy had given him. He said "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Kathy is in heaven and the bad news is that the people responsible are not in hell". His emotions were all over the place. His voice would rise in anger and lower when he spoke of his niece. The visible tug of war we witnessed was one all of us in the missing person community have experienced, I would go so far as to say that we all still do.
There was music at this rally that a local teenage boy provided. When his father got up to speak I thought it was to solicit work. Instead, it was a moving account of how they ended up here on this day. Of how they were invited to participate while playing a fair nearby. Of how they have never met families of the missing before. Of how he could not even grasp how these families must feel. Of how he would feel if his son went missing. Of how their lives are forever changed by what they witnessed today.
Elisa Stirling
Rally Stop Chico, California
We arrived a few minutes early at our Chico stop, coming through town you could tell it had a lot of character, has the feeling of home. This town also hold the secret of a missing woman Heidi Ring who vanished a number of years ago, not a word, sighting, she just vanished. Her story is like hundreds across America, people disappear and no clues or information obtainable left behind. These cases are normally the hardest to solve, their is no jump off point or maybe there was and it was not found in time due to she is an adult. Most people do not take missing adults seriously until something develops to prove foul play or a crime has taken place, sad but it is the reality of it all.
The park where the rally stop is taking place is so very large, runs in a circle and filled with tall aged trees with a beautiful hidden shallow creek that flows in it's length. It was the perfect spot, very open to the street and traffic but really a place of serenity. People were busy as bees preparing items for the stop and Heidi's mom greeting each person as they arrive and making them feel extra special. We added our set up to their's and more arrived including the press, so the program began. People spoke including law enforcement, it was plain to see everyone cared and wanted her home, then two different prayers were offered up, it was a very nice tribute.
I so looked forward to the walk to this creek, but first we wrote messages with washable markers on the leaves that the family had prepared in advance. I love the many ideas loved ones of the missing come up with to honor their missing person, I thought about that when I wrote my message. I walked out as far as I could on the rocks to send my message, really to get away from the crowd so I could send my own prayer out with it, dropping seven leafs. I secretly put additional messages out for each person on the tour and gave thanks for them in my life, for taking part in the tour; for Harlan to be afforded a resolution, Lisa to get her justice and for Elisa to always find peace and to keep healing her heart.
Everyone had their own send offs and it was weird how most found a spot of comfort, in the distance I even heard some speaking words out loud.
I found myself wondering as I always do, why? Why must these innocent families who did nothing to deserve this pain be forced to endure year after year seeking a resolve. See families never move on like one thinks they should, I mean how do you forget your child, sibling, parents, friend, relative? If each of us stopped for five minutes and really would give that a thought, well I guess most will not. My point being you cannot forget about a true love, give up on love, nor can you ignore the loss of love, so that would be your answer...the missing are loved!
As we said our goodbye, Heidi's mother whispered in my ear, I had to laugh....she is a hoot. We left with a peaceful heart, knowing with there faith they will endure and wait, I know I will do more to help and I will always hold dear this stop and my walk to this creek. Driving away I think about all the little extra things that were hand made and given to us as departure gifts, the thought and time that went into it, it made me smile.
Monica Caison
The park where the rally stop is taking place is so very large, runs in a circle and filled with tall aged trees with a beautiful hidden shallow creek that flows in it's length. It was the perfect spot, very open to the street and traffic but really a place of serenity. People were busy as bees preparing items for the stop and Heidi's mom greeting each person as they arrive and making them feel extra special. We added our set up to their's and more arrived including the press, so the program began. People spoke including law enforcement, it was plain to see everyone cared and wanted her home, then two different prayers were offered up, it was a very nice tribute.
I so looked forward to the walk to this creek, but first we wrote messages with washable markers on the leaves that the family had prepared in advance. I love the many ideas loved ones of the missing come up with to honor their missing person, I thought about that when I wrote my message. I walked out as far as I could on the rocks to send my message, really to get away from the crowd so I could send my own prayer out with it, dropping seven leafs. I secretly put additional messages out for each person on the tour and gave thanks for them in my life, for taking part in the tour; for Harlan to be afforded a resolution, Lisa to get her justice and for Elisa to always find peace and to keep healing her heart.
Everyone had their own send offs and it was weird how most found a spot of comfort, in the distance I even heard some speaking words out loud.
I found myself wondering as I always do, why? Why must these innocent families who did nothing to deserve this pain be forced to endure year after year seeking a resolve. See families never move on like one thinks they should, I mean how do you forget your child, sibling, parents, friend, relative? If each of us stopped for five minutes and really would give that a thought, well I guess most will not. My point being you cannot forget about a true love, give up on love, nor can you ignore the loss of love, so that would be your answer...the missing are loved!
As we said our goodbye, Heidi's mother whispered in my ear, I had to laugh....she is a hoot. We left with a peaceful heart, knowing with there faith they will endure and wait, I know I will do more to help and I will always hold dear this stop and my walk to this creek. Driving away I think about all the little extra things that were hand made and given to us as departure gifts, the thought and time that went into it, it made me smile.
Monica Caison
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Another Look at Burlington
Another day on the road, the days go quickly as we encounter so much in such a relatively short period of time. I am a little tired this morning and am realizing that it is not due to late nights and early mornings, but rather all the emotions that have been running through me these past few days. You can't help but feel emotional meeting these families and hearing their stories, listening and hoping and most of all praying that the answers and resolution they seek will be forthcoming and soon!
We leave our hotel and head to Burlington Washington, this stop is for Patty Krieger. We pull into the parking lot of the tire store where the rally stop is being held and are faced immediately with a larger than life poster of Patty. The stop is on a main highway and there is a lot of traffic which is a good thing.
Patty has been missing for almost 2 years and the pain is as real now as it was then, I see it in her family and friends faces and hear it in their words. I know I have said it before, this pain, this not knowing, the constant guessing and what ifs and the feelings all of that brings do not lessen in 2 years or 25 years; it remains the same. We as families learn to live with that pain, but it does not go away and we don't just forget or move on as some may suggest we do. This is real life, it's our life.
More people start arriving and balloons begin to get blown up. On the street as cars pass by they hold posters of their missing loved ones and I remember doing the same and how that feels, needing and wanting to do something and hoping that our loved ones get the attention that is so necessary. I come upon a mother, Ruth Sine whose son Bobby is missing and came to this event to get the word out once again. My heart breaks, it is so hard, this never becomes easier. I hug her and we speak briefly and I offer prayers.
We head over to a large open space for this balloon release and Monica gets in the middle to speak of the significance of the release as she does at so many stops. Somehow this feels different today. I am looking at these faces gathered in the circle through the lens of a camera and I begin to tear up. I notice the reporter from the news station who has been interviewing these families tear up as well. He has been affected, he has experienced a bit of what these families and friends go through on a daily basis and he is visibly moved. This is a day he won't soon forget a day perhaps that changes him.
As the balloons are released no one is in a hurry to take their eyes off them as they head up into the atmosphere. They all stare upwards and hug and hold on to one another as they remember their missing loved one. There is a long period of silence and I move away to the side, I do not want to be intrusive. Soon all begin to move and head back to pack up their posters and sign the Road Tour banner, then get in their cars and continue on in their lives as best they can.
I believe that most if not all present today leave with a renewed sense of hope and understanding. In this hour that passed Patty and Bobby and many others were not just remembered, but honored. I leave this stop as well changed and hopeful and honored to have shared such a personal moment with so many. I realize as we leave that my life is forever changed, not just because of the loss of my sister Allison, but because of all the people I have met and continue to meet on this journey. I am blessed!
Lisa Valentino
We leave our hotel and head to Burlington Washington, this stop is for Patty Krieger. We pull into the parking lot of the tire store where the rally stop is being held and are faced immediately with a larger than life poster of Patty. The stop is on a main highway and there is a lot of traffic which is a good thing.
Patty has been missing for almost 2 years and the pain is as real now as it was then, I see it in her family and friends faces and hear it in their words. I know I have said it before, this pain, this not knowing, the constant guessing and what ifs and the feelings all of that brings do not lessen in 2 years or 25 years; it remains the same. We as families learn to live with that pain, but it does not go away and we don't just forget or move on as some may suggest we do. This is real life, it's our life.
More people start arriving and balloons begin to get blown up. On the street as cars pass by they hold posters of their missing loved ones and I remember doing the same and how that feels, needing and wanting to do something and hoping that our loved ones get the attention that is so necessary. I come upon a mother, Ruth Sine whose son Bobby is missing and came to this event to get the word out once again. My heart breaks, it is so hard, this never becomes easier. I hug her and we speak briefly and I offer prayers.
We head over to a large open space for this balloon release and Monica gets in the middle to speak of the significance of the release as she does at so many stops. Somehow this feels different today. I am looking at these faces gathered in the circle through the lens of a camera and I begin to tear up. I notice the reporter from the news station who has been interviewing these families tear up as well. He has been affected, he has experienced a bit of what these families and friends go through on a daily basis and he is visibly moved. This is a day he won't soon forget a day perhaps that changes him.
As the balloons are released no one is in a hurry to take their eyes off them as they head up into the atmosphere. They all stare upwards and hug and hold on to one another as they remember their missing loved one. There is a long period of silence and I move away to the side, I do not want to be intrusive. Soon all begin to move and head back to pack up their posters and sign the Road Tour banner, then get in their cars and continue on in their lives as best they can.
I believe that most if not all present today leave with a renewed sense of hope and understanding. In this hour that passed Patty and Bobby and many others were not just remembered, but honored. I leave this stop as well changed and hopeful and honored to have shared such a personal moment with so many. I realize as we leave that my life is forever changed, not just because of the loss of my sister Allison, but because of all the people I have met and continue to meet on this journey. I am blessed!
Lisa Valentino
Rally Stop Bellingham, Washington
Excitement filled the air as we traveled the high road to Bellingham, it is a place that holds much meaning for the national tour and why it even exist today. See, Leah Roberts became missing while on a cross country trip and she was searching for herself, to make some life decisions and find who she was or maybe even dig deep as to who she has become, something we will never be sure of because she vanished. Days later her vehicle was found wrecked off a lonely logging trail up on Mount Baker, a very odd place leaving more questions than answers. We could not get any help with her story, feeling like we needed to do more, CUE decided to set out and travel her direct path.
We were so excited of the unknown, I wonder many times if that is how Leah felt leaving on her trip, excited of the unknown? Selina, me and four others set out cross country, we stopped and talked to so many people at exits, the homeless, folks at rest areas, it did not matter we wanted to let everyone know Leah had passed through there town and the fact that she was a real person, putting people with her name and missing poster...media was crazy....we called into every radio station of towns we were going through, meeting TV cameras on the side of the road or at exits coming up, it was a whirlwind, we never stopped. Our goal was to obtain national media for Leah and we in fact landed people magazine and much more, we felt accomplished!
We were packing to leave and head home after being on the mountain where Leah was last seen and spending time there, we buried a box with mementos, secret written notes with a promise to return in a road side ceremony we fought back tears leaving that day; then the call. A call of a meek woman requesting we come to her town and feature her child who was missing, she had seen something on the news, it took all of two minutes to say why not, yes we will come. So in real time our plans changed from the route coming we had planned to take home, leading us to North Dakota and across the top haven of the United States doing the same things, but now telling more stories and adding Leah's legacy to the trip; we did not know at the time that was what was happening though. More calls began to come in and later that night when we stopped at a hotel where the emails flooded in, so we just kept going until we found our way back home some two weeks or more later. Exhausted but excited about all the folks we met, sights we got to see, but most importantly knowing we had made a small difference in the world.
It was days before I could even walk and get back into the routine of working cases and such, then I went to check the CUE Center mail...there I had a moment, I was handed a key. I opened the largest cargo box the post office had and right before me was this huge tub of mail, I recall looking back at the postal attendant, he smile and said thats not all we have their is more behind the desk. So he helped me load the mail in my car, I called a few CUE members and by buddy Selina, of coarse she was at my house with in minutes of my arrival. We all sat on my living room floor sorting the mail and began to read, sharing highlights of letters and request, reading heartfelt stories written to us and about the tour. Five hours later (not realizing the time that had passed) we shed tears, we talked about our experienced, we just knew....it was on my living room floor the decision was made to make the tour an annual event. So, that is why "On the Road to Remember" continues today.
For all of us it meant more than people will ever understand, the legacy of a young woman who was searching for her soul, her life's purpose...in that trip we took because of her, we were to the same and God helped us find another way to better ourself and bring a meaning to hundreds of families who suffer a missing loved one. I have to admit though when Selina died unexpected a couple of years later I never thought I would find anyone to help me keep the tour alive, I was so wrong. I secretly honor Selina's memory with the tour, she adored it and it was all she looked forward to, it was her that help helped me create it, encouraged me in it and pushed me outside of my comfort zone to do it! So, needless to say it has a deep meaning for me on three levels. The families fight for HOPE, Legacy of Leah Roberts and my dearly missed friend and long time CUE member Selina.
We meet with Kara and Holly in Bellingham, we all spent the day with the Detective and visit the law enforcement compound that still housed Leah's vehicle, for me it was a familiar site, but it bothered me her car was now outside and no longer in the garage. This meant to me they were done with it, it was a sad time for me, but I remained silent with my thoughts. So much time has passed, she is still missing, we need a jump start, something has to give, just a few emotional thoughts that ran through my head. Yea, I know I think to much at times. But, I know I am stubborn and we will not give up, I truly believe that every missing person case does find a resolution, sometimes it is the length of the journey that can wear on us for sure, but I do believe. To not believe says their is no hope in suffering here, not the way I could ever think nor could I except that way of thinking, ever!
We then made the drive to the mountain, I wanted so badly for everyone to share in what Kara and I had years ago, to be were Leah's car was found, see this beautiful mountain ridge, but mostly I wanted to find the box we had placed there years ago, I needed that for many reasons, but the road was blocked. Huge rocks set in the roadway, it was so overgrown, it was not the same place I recalled, time had visited that place. We made the decision not to hike it up while we were walking up the road, we would loose light soon and we had no decent protection from the wild, it would not have been smart to keep growing, we were all disappointed. I felt bad for Holly the most, she needed to see it, she needed to share this part of Kara's past with her because it is still the present time for them both, a little part of me was selfish that day, I needed to find that box and see what Selina had written to Leah and knowing a note in there for me existed as well. God has other plans that day.
We had already planned to replace the box and had things we were going to put in the new box to bury, we still did that. In a clear box I wrote Leah's name and that days date, Kara brought rocks with her for all to write a message and place in the box; I brought from home a necklace that had great meaning to me, an item Susan Murphy Milano had sent me a long time ago with a private message. We added a button, flyers, our rocks and the necklace and just like years ago Kara and I wrote a private message on paper and placed in there, we were now ready to bury the box. In a small ceremony Holly and Kara looked for the perfect spot, I stood back a bit, it was there time to have something together, I watched like a guess a mother would, proud of who Kara has grown into, I have grown to love her over time as I do many of my families, but today, flooded with so much time, people and memories, it was confirmed of the love our families have for each other.
We lingered around for awhile, then as hard as it was we drove out at dusk was leaning in the mountain. Everyone knew that feeling....not wanting to leave, that tug it does to your heart, because everyone in the tour vehicle has had a life experience of a missing person. Elisa was her son, Lisa was her sister and Harlan, his nephew and the list goes on. Then someone said something funny and laughter lighten the moment, conversation began to hide what each one of us were feeling.
The next morning was Leah's rally stop, the police wanted us to come in early and have donuts and coffee, etc. to meet with everyone on Leah's case including the Sheriff, it was an awesome meeting. Kara fought back tears a few times asking questions in need of long time answers, of coarse I had a few of my own as well. All and all we all left knowing that each person in that room that morning did care, they all wear Leah's case on the shoulders and hearts, again I believe. That meeting reinforces my trust in law officials and humanity, we enter the rally stop, it all went well. Many things will follow this stop in time to come, it is a renewed hope. I remain humble and honored to serve the missing, I am reminded daily of the importance of that; we are all God's extended branch of hope, it's just that simple.
We say our goodbyes....and begin to travel to our next rally stop, again on a journey of the unknown.
Monica Caison
We were so excited of the unknown, I wonder many times if that is how Leah felt leaving on her trip, excited of the unknown? Selina, me and four others set out cross country, we stopped and talked to so many people at exits, the homeless, folks at rest areas, it did not matter we wanted to let everyone know Leah had passed through there town and the fact that she was a real person, putting people with her name and missing poster...media was crazy....we called into every radio station of towns we were going through, meeting TV cameras on the side of the road or at exits coming up, it was a whirlwind, we never stopped. Our goal was to obtain national media for Leah and we in fact landed people magazine and much more, we felt accomplished!
We were packing to leave and head home after being on the mountain where Leah was last seen and spending time there, we buried a box with mementos, secret written notes with a promise to return in a road side ceremony we fought back tears leaving that day; then the call. A call of a meek woman requesting we come to her town and feature her child who was missing, she had seen something on the news, it took all of two minutes to say why not, yes we will come. So in real time our plans changed from the route coming we had planned to take home, leading us to North Dakota and across the top haven of the United States doing the same things, but now telling more stories and adding Leah's legacy to the trip; we did not know at the time that was what was happening though. More calls began to come in and later that night when we stopped at a hotel where the emails flooded in, so we just kept going until we found our way back home some two weeks or more later. Exhausted but excited about all the folks we met, sights we got to see, but most importantly knowing we had made a small difference in the world.
It was days before I could even walk and get back into the routine of working cases and such, then I went to check the CUE Center mail...there I had a moment, I was handed a key. I opened the largest cargo box the post office had and right before me was this huge tub of mail, I recall looking back at the postal attendant, he smile and said thats not all we have their is more behind the desk. So he helped me load the mail in my car, I called a few CUE members and by buddy Selina, of coarse she was at my house with in minutes of my arrival. We all sat on my living room floor sorting the mail and began to read, sharing highlights of letters and request, reading heartfelt stories written to us and about the tour. Five hours later (not realizing the time that had passed) we shed tears, we talked about our experienced, we just knew....it was on my living room floor the decision was made to make the tour an annual event. So, that is why "On the Road to Remember" continues today.
For all of us it meant more than people will ever understand, the legacy of a young woman who was searching for her soul, her life's purpose...in that trip we took because of her, we were to the same and God helped us find another way to better ourself and bring a meaning to hundreds of families who suffer a missing loved one. I have to admit though when Selina died unexpected a couple of years later I never thought I would find anyone to help me keep the tour alive, I was so wrong. I secretly honor Selina's memory with the tour, she adored it and it was all she looked forward to, it was her that help helped me create it, encouraged me in it and pushed me outside of my comfort zone to do it! So, needless to say it has a deep meaning for me on three levels. The families fight for HOPE, Legacy of Leah Roberts and my dearly missed friend and long time CUE member Selina.
We meet with Kara and Holly in Bellingham, we all spent the day with the Detective and visit the law enforcement compound that still housed Leah's vehicle, for me it was a familiar site, but it bothered me her car was now outside and no longer in the garage. This meant to me they were done with it, it was a sad time for me, but I remained silent with my thoughts. So much time has passed, she is still missing, we need a jump start, something has to give, just a few emotional thoughts that ran through my head. Yea, I know I think to much at times. But, I know I am stubborn and we will not give up, I truly believe that every missing person case does find a resolution, sometimes it is the length of the journey that can wear on us for sure, but I do believe. To not believe says their is no hope in suffering here, not the way I could ever think nor could I except that way of thinking, ever!
We then made the drive to the mountain, I wanted so badly for everyone to share in what Kara and I had years ago, to be were Leah's car was found, see this beautiful mountain ridge, but mostly I wanted to find the box we had placed there years ago, I needed that for many reasons, but the road was blocked. Huge rocks set in the roadway, it was so overgrown, it was not the same place I recalled, time had visited that place. We made the decision not to hike it up while we were walking up the road, we would loose light soon and we had no decent protection from the wild, it would not have been smart to keep growing, we were all disappointed. I felt bad for Holly the most, she needed to see it, she needed to share this part of Kara's past with her because it is still the present time for them both, a little part of me was selfish that day, I needed to find that box and see what Selina had written to Leah and knowing a note in there for me existed as well. God has other plans that day.
We had already planned to replace the box and had things we were going to put in the new box to bury, we still did that. In a clear box I wrote Leah's name and that days date, Kara brought rocks with her for all to write a message and place in the box; I brought from home a necklace that had great meaning to me, an item Susan Murphy Milano had sent me a long time ago with a private message. We added a button, flyers, our rocks and the necklace and just like years ago Kara and I wrote a private message on paper and placed in there, we were now ready to bury the box. In a small ceremony Holly and Kara looked for the perfect spot, I stood back a bit, it was there time to have something together, I watched like a guess a mother would, proud of who Kara has grown into, I have grown to love her over time as I do many of my families, but today, flooded with so much time, people and memories, it was confirmed of the love our families have for each other.
We lingered around for awhile, then as hard as it was we drove out at dusk was leaning in the mountain. Everyone knew that feeling....not wanting to leave, that tug it does to your heart, because everyone in the tour vehicle has had a life experience of a missing person. Elisa was her son, Lisa was her sister and Harlan, his nephew and the list goes on. Then someone said something funny and laughter lighten the moment, conversation began to hide what each one of us were feeling.
The next morning was Leah's rally stop, the police wanted us to come in early and have donuts and coffee, etc. to meet with everyone on Leah's case including the Sheriff, it was an awesome meeting. Kara fought back tears a few times asking questions in need of long time answers, of coarse I had a few of my own as well. All and all we all left knowing that each person in that room that morning did care, they all wear Leah's case on the shoulders and hearts, again I believe. That meeting reinforces my trust in law officials and humanity, we enter the rally stop, it all went well. Many things will follow this stop in time to come, it is a renewed hope. I remain humble and honored to serve the missing, I am reminded daily of the importance of that; we are all God's extended branch of hope, it's just that simple.
We say our goodbyes....and begin to travel to our next rally stop, again on a journey of the unknown.
Monica Caison
Friday, October 5, 2012
Rally Stop Burlington, Washington
Last night leaving the candle light service a voice said please give Patti's family our love and prayers, I thought but we are to be in Bellingham? I had to sit and look at the scheduled route again to be sure of what day it was and find my bearings; realizing I am glad I did. So, now came the hunt for a hotel because all day I knew we already had rooms booked for the next stop (I thought it was Bellingham)! We ended up lucky, checking in I was beating myself up, asking myself how could I overlook this stop or forget? It was then I felt the overwhelming task each year of the road tour, we are never short in cases to feature...then I got angry! Life sometime just is not fair, so much pain in the world I live in, but then I am gently reminded of all the kind moments, moments shared, all the special people I have meet, and I smile. This is what life is really about, helping others, putting someone's life before yours, I try to live daily to that standard.
Arriving at Patti's stop (very hard to miss), signs cry out from the road side begging for people to care, to look and to help! Their was lots of visuals, balloons, banners in life size and a tent. You could feel the love everyone has for Patti and the appreciation of our attendance. We had a good turn out, not one car that passed did not realize people are missing, to include other families who were there.
It bothers me because no matter what town or state, no matter what case the story from the families and loved ones is similar.....we need more help, no one will listen to us and the words most often heard, are the feeling of abandonment of their officials. I know deep down thats not always the case, but feelings are real and people have them, so they never can be wrong. The truth is that the police do care, however they are held hostage to their job requirements "do not get close" and they have to stay level headed, although I do have to admit compassion can go along was with those left behind to suffer a missing loved one. I think sometimes in a job or title of one, people loose humanity and commitment, that can be frustrating to loved ones a the missing, that surly needs to improve on so many levels.
We launched the balloons at closing of the event activities, it was different today, no one moved after they floated away. People lingered in the circle we had formed, looking to the sky, as if we all were searching for a sign of some sort. Many tears were shed, silent prayers being lifting up, but what stood out the most to me was the silence of the moment, I think even the media caught it on a personal note fighting back emotion. I recall a brief smile I had thinking someone who was not affected, got it. That is what the tour tries to accomplish, reaching those not touch, reaching those who have nothing invested in this circle, just reaching those out there.
Is always touches me to see how far those who love someone will travel and go for the missing person, climb that mountain, walk through rain, visit places they would never dream of and putting forth that actions to get a resolve. I know this tour reinforces that we are all on the same team and provides that glimmer of hope for most. I think about Bellingham, I get nervous knowing later today I will be once again on that mountain that Leah became lost on, I realize I am more invested in all of the missing than I ever thought 18 years old I would be. I say a pray for everyone in the circle and break myself away from the emotions of saying goodbye.
Monica Caison
Arriving at Patti's stop (very hard to miss), signs cry out from the road side begging for people to care, to look and to help! Their was lots of visuals, balloons, banners in life size and a tent. You could feel the love everyone has for Patti and the appreciation of our attendance. We had a good turn out, not one car that passed did not realize people are missing, to include other families who were there.
It bothers me because no matter what town or state, no matter what case the story from the families and loved ones is similar.....we need more help, no one will listen to us and the words most often heard, are the feeling of abandonment of their officials. I know deep down thats not always the case, but feelings are real and people have them, so they never can be wrong. The truth is that the police do care, however they are held hostage to their job requirements "do not get close" and they have to stay level headed, although I do have to admit compassion can go along was with those left behind to suffer a missing loved one. I think sometimes in a job or title of one, people loose humanity and commitment, that can be frustrating to loved ones a the missing, that surly needs to improve on so many levels.
We launched the balloons at closing of the event activities, it was different today, no one moved after they floated away. People lingered in the circle we had formed, looking to the sky, as if we all were searching for a sign of some sort. Many tears were shed, silent prayers being lifting up, but what stood out the most to me was the silence of the moment, I think even the media caught it on a personal note fighting back emotion. I recall a brief smile I had thinking someone who was not affected, got it. That is what the tour tries to accomplish, reaching those not touch, reaching those who have nothing invested in this circle, just reaching those out there.
Is always touches me to see how far those who love someone will travel and go for the missing person, climb that mountain, walk through rain, visit places they would never dream of and putting forth that actions to get a resolve. I know this tour reinforces that we are all on the same team and provides that glimmer of hope for most. I think about Bellingham, I get nervous knowing later today I will be once again on that mountain that Leah became lost on, I realize I am more invested in all of the missing than I ever thought 18 years old I would be. I say a pray for everyone in the circle and break myself away from the emotions of saying goodbye.
Monica Caison
Rally Stop Olympia, Washington
As we traveled through the tour I began to realize on this day that we had a lot of children in the line up, more than we have in the last few years, you cannot help to feel somewhat sadden. This would be a night time event, it was a long day already but all well worth it. So we pull up to this beautiful park, you could almost imagine the children who play there....it was the perfect place. They had candles lit and sitting in a long row circling the waters edge, it was a peaceful setting. Their were to many families in attendance and media running around to capture each moment and story.
As I walked through the large crowd and being welcomed, I would pass people doing interviews or talking in a group, most words were to familiar to me, like "I just want my child home, we miss her, someone knows something, call the hotline and the list goes on and on". You see when you are in the world of suffering a missing loved one you know the lingo, the words you need to get out there and unfortunately this branding becomes a part of your life, your thoughts, who you are; a person in constant search for the truth.
A missing child has no age in the mind of those who gave life, a mother will always be a mother and recall that day she gave life, my heart truly aches for those who gave life. Fathers and relatives stay in a broken state to be there for all the mothers, with an unspoken word knowing deep down that being a mother is more than they will ever experience, but it never lessons their pain either. A missing child leaves so many with a ton of memories but yet the craving for more and when cut short it holds a sharpness that can reach heights and depths of overwhelming measure.
Families stood up to tell their stories, balloons were released, hugs were exchanged, but for me I stand back and know it will never be enough until that child is found. I join many around the country daily in that unknown fate of a missing person, today I think it hit harder than most days. I silently pray for a miracle and believing it will happen, we have to have faith in something bigger than ourselves.
We stayed later than planned but I enjoyed seeing our families and meeting news ones, all holding out for that moment to get to tell their story, they just need to be heard, not much to ask for; the world sometime forgets that part. Leaving, I heard some laughter, as I give my departing hugs I offer some words of encouragement, and then there comes that look I speak about often...that look that climbs in your heart and shakes it hard enough to rock your soul, it hurts and aches for days later.
As we pull out I wonder how many truly take for granted they have not been forced into this world, this membership where you pay your dues one moment at a time.
Monica Caison
As I walked through the large crowd and being welcomed, I would pass people doing interviews or talking in a group, most words were to familiar to me, like "I just want my child home, we miss her, someone knows something, call the hotline and the list goes on and on". You see when you are in the world of suffering a missing loved one you know the lingo, the words you need to get out there and unfortunately this branding becomes a part of your life, your thoughts, who you are; a person in constant search for the truth.
A missing child has no age in the mind of those who gave life, a mother will always be a mother and recall that day she gave life, my heart truly aches for those who gave life. Fathers and relatives stay in a broken state to be there for all the mothers, with an unspoken word knowing deep down that being a mother is more than they will ever experience, but it never lessons their pain either. A missing child leaves so many with a ton of memories but yet the craving for more and when cut short it holds a sharpness that can reach heights and depths of overwhelming measure.
Families stood up to tell their stories, balloons were released, hugs were exchanged, but for me I stand back and know it will never be enough until that child is found. I join many around the country daily in that unknown fate of a missing person, today I think it hit harder than most days. I silently pray for a miracle and believing it will happen, we have to have faith in something bigger than ourselves.
We stayed later than planned but I enjoyed seeing our families and meeting news ones, all holding out for that moment to get to tell their story, they just need to be heard, not much to ask for; the world sometime forgets that part. Leaving, I heard some laughter, as I give my departing hugs I offer some words of encouragement, and then there comes that look I speak about often...that look that climbs in your heart and shakes it hard enough to rock your soul, it hurts and aches for days later.
As we pull out I wonder how many truly take for granted they have not been forced into this world, this membership where you pay your dues one moment at a time.
Monica Caison
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Chico, California
Team Heidi did an amazing job organizing their rally held in a beautiful local park. Family members wore name tags with Heidi's picture centered on them. One side said TEAM HEIDI and the other side said misses you above which was a place in which you could write your name. Another first that I absolutely loved! The poster board was decorated with pictures of Heidi at all stages of her life and included pictures of her animals and momentos such as concert tickets. There was a table with refreshments, and a table with a guest book and printed hand made thank you cards bearing Heidi's picture. All areas were decorated with colorful leaves, and everywhere you looked you saw Heidi's beaming, smiling face.
The circumstances regarding Heidi Ring's disappearance on 6-8-05 are not really known, other than the fact that the 37 year old left a motel late at night without her cell phone and has not been in contact with her family since.
Gretchen, Heidi's mom began by telling us all about Heidi. She has spent so much time chasing down leads and feels they have gotten close, but now so much time has elapsed and the leads have died down. A chaplain from the police department came to say a prayer for all the missing, their families, and also for all the people working these cases. He told us that in doing research for today he discovered that he was a classmate of Heidi at the state college. Prayers were also recited from the Bahai faith. The sergeant that has been on Heidi's case from the beginning told us how this is the only case that is always with him, so much so, that he carries the case binder at all times. Heidi's brother Mike reminded us how much time has passed by telling us that he is now older than his big sister was on the day she disappeared. That struck a chord with me, I always do the math on both my birthday and my husband's birthday. It astounds me that I am now older than he was when he died, and how he will forever be 42.
While there were balloons at the rally there wasn't a ballon release. Instead, Heidi's family asked us to write messages on the leaves provided with washable markers. We then walked down to the water and floated the leaves downstream. I'm constantly amazed at what different things people come up with to honor their missing. It seemed such a perfect and moving tribute.
Gretchen was so focused at her event that we even ended on time, although we did leave a little late (as always). The goodbyes were difficult (as always). She had made it through smiling, wanting it to be an upbeat day celebrating her daughter, but now it was over and the pain was visible behind the smile (as always),
Elisa Stirling
The circumstances regarding Heidi Ring's disappearance on 6-8-05 are not really known, other than the fact that the 37 year old left a motel late at night without her cell phone and has not been in contact with her family since.
Gretchen, Heidi's mom began by telling us all about Heidi. She has spent so much time chasing down leads and feels they have gotten close, but now so much time has elapsed and the leads have died down. A chaplain from the police department came to say a prayer for all the missing, their families, and also for all the people working these cases. He told us that in doing research for today he discovered that he was a classmate of Heidi at the state college. Prayers were also recited from the Bahai faith. The sergeant that has been on Heidi's case from the beginning told us how this is the only case that is always with him, so much so, that he carries the case binder at all times. Heidi's brother Mike reminded us how much time has passed by telling us that he is now older than his big sister was on the day she disappeared. That struck a chord with me, I always do the math on both my birthday and my husband's birthday. It astounds me that I am now older than he was when he died, and how he will forever be 42.
While there were balloons at the rally there wasn't a ballon release. Instead, Heidi's family asked us to write messages on the leaves provided with washable markers. We then walked down to the water and floated the leaves downstream. I'm constantly amazed at what different things people come up with to honor their missing. It seemed such a perfect and moving tribute.
Gretchen was so focused at her event that we even ended on time, although we did leave a little late (as always). The goodbyes were difficult (as always). She had made it through smiling, wanting it to be an upbeat day celebrating her daughter, but now it was over and the pain was visible behind the smile (as always),
Elisa Stirling
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Bellingham, Washington
We left Burlington relaxed with the knowledge that we had the rest of the day to ourselves. We had things to do in Bellingham but the next official event wasn't until the following morning. We arrived happy to see a NICE motel. Kara and Holly were there waiting for us, and soon we were joined by the detective in Leah's case. Leah Roberts was 23 when she went missing while on a cross country trip. She left Raleigh North Carolina on 3-9-00. Her wrecked car was found 9 days later on Mount Baker. Leah is the inspiration for our road tour. The first tour was taken to bring awareness to her case, with stops in all the places she had been on her journey.
We all piled into the detective's car and he took us to see Leah's vehicle. 12 long years have passed since they first took possession. Kara, Leah's sister, and the detective discussed various things regarding the car, with the rest of us listening quietly. I had earlier asked if they wanted all of us along on today's events, they seemed private to me. I couldn't help but think of Matt's truck, and how I would feel seeing it. That's when I understood, these are the people you want with you. This is a group that gets the magnitude of what is occurring. Afterward, the detective took us to lunch at a nice restaurant with magnificent water views. It was encouraging to see how invested he was in Leah's case. When he dropped us back at the motel we all got into the van for the ride up Mount Baker to the spot where Leah's car had been found. But in the end, the road was blocked off about 2 miles from where the car went off the road and onto the mountain. We attempted to walk it, knowing that it would soon be getting dark, but the bear threat became too real when Holly found fresh droppings. I was upset, not so much for the rest of us, although I would have liked to put a visual with all that I had heard, but for Kara. She hasn't been here in awhile since she lives in North Carolina, and I'm sure it is a place that will always be important to her. I often visit the canal that took Mathew from me. I find solace there and I find myself drawn there pretty much every time I'm down that way.
The next morning we had a meeting at the police station prior to the press conference. The office was full of law enforcement when we arrived. The sheriff was there along with the D.A. and a few others who were sitting around a large conference table. Three of the men there had been on Leah's case since the beginning. We got specifics about the vehicle's recovery from the first officer on the scene. At one point he apologized for not knowing it was a missing person case, for assuming it was just someone who ran off the road. I found it refreshing to hear him be so truthful. Another told us all about the search efforts that have gone on at the mountain. I know how important this information was to Monica, watching as she questioned him on all the specifics. Everyone seemed so willing to share information, to answer all Kara's questions. So many families do not receive this from their police departments. They asked questions also, probing Kara's memories of Leah from that time so long ago. I believe we all came away from that meeting with new information. I believe it was a very positive experience for all in attendance. I believe that this department wants very much to close Leah's case. I believe that for many of them it is the one "cold" case that stays with them. I believe that meeting Kara, seeing how much she looks like Leah, putting family in front of them can only toughen their resolve.
Elisa Stirling
We all piled into the detective's car and he took us to see Leah's vehicle. 12 long years have passed since they first took possession. Kara, Leah's sister, and the detective discussed various things regarding the car, with the rest of us listening quietly. I had earlier asked if they wanted all of us along on today's events, they seemed private to me. I couldn't help but think of Matt's truck, and how I would feel seeing it. That's when I understood, these are the people you want with you. This is a group that gets the magnitude of what is occurring. Afterward, the detective took us to lunch at a nice restaurant with magnificent water views. It was encouraging to see how invested he was in Leah's case. When he dropped us back at the motel we all got into the van for the ride up Mount Baker to the spot where Leah's car had been found. But in the end, the road was blocked off about 2 miles from where the car went off the road and onto the mountain. We attempted to walk it, knowing that it would soon be getting dark, but the bear threat became too real when Holly found fresh droppings. I was upset, not so much for the rest of us, although I would have liked to put a visual with all that I had heard, but for Kara. She hasn't been here in awhile since she lives in North Carolina, and I'm sure it is a place that will always be important to her. I often visit the canal that took Mathew from me. I find solace there and I find myself drawn there pretty much every time I'm down that way.
The next morning we had a meeting at the police station prior to the press conference. The office was full of law enforcement when we arrived. The sheriff was there along with the D.A. and a few others who were sitting around a large conference table. Three of the men there had been on Leah's case since the beginning. We got specifics about the vehicle's recovery from the first officer on the scene. At one point he apologized for not knowing it was a missing person case, for assuming it was just someone who ran off the road. I found it refreshing to hear him be so truthful. Another told us all about the search efforts that have gone on at the mountain. I know how important this information was to Monica, watching as she questioned him on all the specifics. Everyone seemed so willing to share information, to answer all Kara's questions. So many families do not receive this from their police departments. They asked questions also, probing Kara's memories of Leah from that time so long ago. I believe we all came away from that meeting with new information. I believe it was a very positive experience for all in attendance. I believe that this department wants very much to close Leah's case. I believe that for many of them it is the one "cold" case that stays with them. I believe that meeting Kara, seeing how much she looks like Leah, putting family in front of them can only toughen their resolve.
Elisa Stirling
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Another Look at Olympia
It has been a long but good day and we head to our third and final stop in Olympia Washington put together by the family of Lindsay Baum. Each stop on the tour is different and has it's own uniqueness about it, and each stop always has me reflecting on the person or persons this event is about. That reflection time for me is always filled with prayer and the hope that these family and friends will get resolution, the answers they need and are able to bring home their missing loved one. They are moments that literally make me stop and take in all that is before me, they are moments that remind me of why I am on this tour and all that means to me.
The sun was setting over a beautiful lake and the candles were lit brightly around it's perimeter. The tables were set up with many posters and flyers of those missing and many family and friends turned up for support. As I walked around taking pictures I listened as so many families spoke to others about their missing person and the circumstances, most if not all through tears. I know the statistics and I have met so many families who have a missing person, yet it still just blows my mind when I see it in this very "real" way. It's heartbreaking and once again I am reminded that each of us has a role in this, that there is something we can do!
Before the balloon release we gather in a circle in front of the lake and Lindsay's mom invites all the other families there to share their stories. One family after another comes forward and shares their hearts, personal, informal and oh so real. Families reaching out and supporting other families, becoming families themselves because of this tragic bond that has brought them together.
I notice that many passing through the park stop to listen and hear what is going on. I am sure that if they really listened they are walking away changed, and with a new awareness. I hope that the next time these people see a flyer or poster of a missing person that they won't just blow by it or not look at all. I hope they will take the time to read it and hopefully share it. Maybe some will come away so moved that they will offer their help in any way they can to a family or an Organization like CUE who always needs good volunteers.
It is never easy listening to those speak who have a missing loved one and it always impacts me. Tonight in particular I was struck by how young so many of those missing are and I am thinking of my own children at home, how could I not. I am struck as well by a young girl, the daughter of 21 year old Alyssa Mclemore who is missing. Alyssa's sister is speaking and all I see is her daughter, who is growing up without her mother. I see my sister Allison's daughters, for me it becomes a complete circle.
As we join in a large circle to release the balloons a prayer is said and manycall out the nameof their missing loved one. As we watch the balloons head up into the night, I know what I am thinking and I wonder what those around me are, I am sure most of our thoughts are the same. I say another prayer.
We prepare to leave and head on to the next stop tomorrow. I know a million emotions and feelings are going through these families right now and all who attend this event. As we hug goodbye that same sense of hope and love sweeps over me as it has before and I know that these efforts and nights like tonight are never in vain. I am blessed to be here tonight and to "just be" with these families who endure so much, I leave this stop once again a little different.
Lisa Valentino
The sun was setting over a beautiful lake and the candles were lit brightly around it's perimeter. The tables were set up with many posters and flyers of those missing and many family and friends turned up for support. As I walked around taking pictures I listened as so many families spoke to others about their missing person and the circumstances, most if not all through tears. I know the statistics and I have met so many families who have a missing person, yet it still just blows my mind when I see it in this very "real" way. It's heartbreaking and once again I am reminded that each of us has a role in this, that there is something we can do!
Before the balloon release we gather in a circle in front of the lake and Lindsay's mom invites all the other families there to share their stories. One family after another comes forward and shares their hearts, personal, informal and oh so real. Families reaching out and supporting other families, becoming families themselves because of this tragic bond that has brought them together.
I notice that many passing through the park stop to listen and hear what is going on. I am sure that if they really listened they are walking away changed, and with a new awareness. I hope that the next time these people see a flyer or poster of a missing person that they won't just blow by it or not look at all. I hope they will take the time to read it and hopefully share it. Maybe some will come away so moved that they will offer their help in any way they can to a family or an Organization like CUE who always needs good volunteers.
It is never easy listening to those speak who have a missing loved one and it always impacts me. Tonight in particular I was struck by how young so many of those missing are and I am thinking of my own children at home, how could I not. I am struck as well by a young girl, the daughter of 21 year old Alyssa Mclemore who is missing. Alyssa's sister is speaking and all I see is her daughter, who is growing up without her mother. I see my sister Allison's daughters, for me it becomes a complete circle.
As we join in a large circle to release the balloons a prayer is said and manycall out the nameof their missing loved one. As we watch the balloons head up into the night, I know what I am thinking and I wonder what those around me are, I am sure most of our thoughts are the same. I say another prayer.
We prepare to leave and head on to the next stop tomorrow. I know a million emotions and feelings are going through these families right now and all who attend this event. As we hug goodbye that same sense of hope and love sweeps over me as it has before and I know that these efforts and nights like tonight are never in vain. I am blessed to be here tonight and to "just be" with these families who endure so much, I leave this stop once again a little different.
Lisa Valentino
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Burlington, Washington
The rally stop for Patti Krieger was held outside of a Tire store, with friends and family lined up along the road holding up signs and posters for passing motorists to see. I've participated in events like this, when we hold our "Cars Held Hostage" campaign protests, but I don't recall seeing it used on the tour before. As we pull into the lot the first sign I encounter boldly states in capital letters "STILL MISSING".
Patti was 65 years old when she vanished from Sauk Mountain on 10-2-10. An inexperienced hiker, she was there with 5 other people and her dog to scatter the ashes of her then boyfriend's deceased parents. The individuals on the mountain with her state that she became emotional after the ceremony and wondered off alone with her Rottweiler. The group believed that the trail she had taken would reconnect with the trail that they were on but Patti was never seen again. All her personal effects were with the group and it is unclear if she had any personal belongings in her possession went she disappeared. Search and rescue teams were immediately dispatched but no clues to Patti's whereabouts were ever found. About a month later her underweight and malnourished dog was found near the mountain.
Before embarking on the tour, I start a notebook, and research all the missing and the circumstances of their disappearance. It only gives me a small snapshot of the person but it's just supposed to be a starting point. At rally's, I enjoy talking to the families and learning all about their missing loved one. Sometimes it's stories of their lives and what kind of person they are, other times it's stories about their disappearance. On one side I know from first hand experience that families have knowledge, that they know their missing person the best, and that their thoughts and opinions should be taken seriously. I've also seen the other side, though, when someone close looks guilty for a variety of reasons and then it turns out they had nothing to do with it..I understand this family's reasoning, and hope that they can get resolution. Patti's son, Alan Patterson, has been upfront in his opinions and in expressing his desire for answers. Her brother and sister have also been vocal with their frustrations. It's been close to 2 years, they want peace, they want clues, they want Patti...
Ruth Sine was also at this rally stop, her son Bobby went missing 2-6-12. He is 18 years old... Another of those cases closest to my heart, another fresh case, another mother in the early stages of the missing. Bobby was last seen near the riverfront and boardwalk by the Skagit River in Mount Vernon. Ruth commented that you can never understand or "Get it", until it happens to you... about passing his empty bedroom night after night..Her grief reaches into my soul...
Patti was 65 years old when she vanished from Sauk Mountain on 10-2-10. An inexperienced hiker, she was there with 5 other people and her dog to scatter the ashes of her then boyfriend's deceased parents. The individuals on the mountain with her state that she became emotional after the ceremony and wondered off alone with her Rottweiler. The group believed that the trail she had taken would reconnect with the trail that they were on but Patti was never seen again. All her personal effects were with the group and it is unclear if she had any personal belongings in her possession went she disappeared. Search and rescue teams were immediately dispatched but no clues to Patti's whereabouts were ever found. About a month later her underweight and malnourished dog was found near the mountain.
Before embarking on the tour, I start a notebook, and research all the missing and the circumstances of their disappearance. It only gives me a small snapshot of the person but it's just supposed to be a starting point. At rally's, I enjoy talking to the families and learning all about their missing loved one. Sometimes it's stories of their lives and what kind of person they are, other times it's stories about their disappearance. On one side I know from first hand experience that families have knowledge, that they know their missing person the best, and that their thoughts and opinions should be taken seriously. I've also seen the other side, though, when someone close looks guilty for a variety of reasons and then it turns out they had nothing to do with it..I understand this family's reasoning, and hope that they can get resolution. Patti's son, Alan Patterson, has been upfront in his opinions and in expressing his desire for answers. Her brother and sister have also been vocal with their frustrations. It's been close to 2 years, they want peace, they want clues, they want Patti...
Ruth Sine was also at this rally stop, her son Bobby went missing 2-6-12. He is 18 years old... Another of those cases closest to my heart, another fresh case, another mother in the early stages of the missing. Bobby was last seen near the riverfront and boardwalk by the Skagit River in Mount Vernon. Ruth commented that you can never understand or "Get it", until it happens to you... about passing his empty bedroom night after night..Her grief reaches into my soul...
Friday, September 28, 2012
Rally Stop Vancouver, Washington
When pulling up to the high school Jamie once attended just before she disappeared I felt a sadness, reminded of a young girl who never got the chance to graduate, a young girl who never had a life past her teen years. There, her sister and friends waiting for someone to reach out and care. You think back to so many years she has been gone, some may even ask why would anyone continue their search for a missing loved one all the years later? Well, fortunately anyone who wants to ask that question, does not get that right too, because only then would it be obvious they have not lost anyone in that manner.
We looked at old pictures, and viewed a few items found on a crime scene years ago when a recovery took place of two teen bodies in the mountain woods, some of Jamie's personal items were in the collection; but they never found her. I wonder, hell not wonder but question very hard on that matter, did they search hard enough, long enough? She has to still be out there, my plan is to get a renewed search for this case, I am convinced she is still there and maybe even more may be there. Many cases around the country, never enough resources to aid them all, so this takes time.
I am reminded of all the years families of the missing endure waiting! Days that drag on and on, while the world is busy zooming by with barely a care or notice of anything wrong, a world not affected by a missing person. It is hard to get most people really involved in a missing person case, now a days if a new case comes up people want to share the story, blog their opinions, make a poster.....but down here on the ground floor where I am daily, help? Not so much, other than those who search with us, the unnoticed dedication of trained volunteers.
A wonderful lady shows up carrying flowers of bright color, it reminds me of back in the day colors, when I think things were a little more carefree...at least for me anyway. We took the pedals from those flowers and in a ceremony sprinkled them all around the sign of the school, we signed a guest book while her sister shared stories and walked down memory lane for some time. I recall thinking the love between sisters is really unmeasurable in most families and I was proud Jamie had a sister like that, still fighting the fight for her, loving her with no time lapse.
When I see families like this with years of living in the unknown for so long I know the world problems that arise are just not that important today. I am reminded of myself as a teen, and the darkness of the reality... this could have been me. I leave with a humble heart.
Monica Caison
We looked at old pictures, and viewed a few items found on a crime scene years ago when a recovery took place of two teen bodies in the mountain woods, some of Jamie's personal items were in the collection; but they never found her. I wonder, hell not wonder but question very hard on that matter, did they search hard enough, long enough? She has to still be out there, my plan is to get a renewed search for this case, I am convinced she is still there and maybe even more may be there. Many cases around the country, never enough resources to aid them all, so this takes time.
I am reminded of all the years families of the missing endure waiting! Days that drag on and on, while the world is busy zooming by with barely a care or notice of anything wrong, a world not affected by a missing person. It is hard to get most people really involved in a missing person case, now a days if a new case comes up people want to share the story, blog their opinions, make a poster.....but down here on the ground floor where I am daily, help? Not so much, other than those who search with us, the unnoticed dedication of trained volunteers.
A wonderful lady shows up carrying flowers of bright color, it reminds me of back in the day colors, when I think things were a little more carefree...at least for me anyway. We took the pedals from those flowers and in a ceremony sprinkled them all around the sign of the school, we signed a guest book while her sister shared stories and walked down memory lane for some time. I recall thinking the love between sisters is really unmeasurable in most families and I was proud Jamie had a sister like that, still fighting the fight for her, loving her with no time lapse.
When I see families like this with years of living in the unknown for so long I know the world problems that arise are just not that important today. I am reminded of myself as a teen, and the darkness of the reality... this could have been me. I leave with a humble heart.
Monica Caison
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Olympia, Washington
Nighttime rally stops tend to take my breathe away, and tonight is no different. We arrive at a park next to a lake just as the sun begins to set. There are an uncountable amount of lit candles everywhere, all along the perimeter of the lake, and on all the tables; so many tables, and they are all loaded with missing person posters, flyers, buttons, and giveaways. As I begin to carry our things and set up our table I am already anxious, anticipating a highly charged vigil... Most of the missing person's being honored tonight are children; young children, teens, and young adults. The group gathered includes many children, schoolmates of the missing, siblings of the missing, children of the missing, and of course parents and relatives of the missing. Often it takes events like these to remember all the children that are left behind when someone goes missing. We may hear they had children or young siblings, but often we only see the adults who take the family representative role in speaking out.
Tonight's rally was organized by the family of Lindsey Baum. She was 10 years old when she went missing from the small town of McCleary on 6-29-09. She was walking home from a friend's home, a route she knew well and walked often. A short walk down a densely populated suburban street. On this evening, however, she never arrived home. I meet many members of her family, and some of her friends. 12 or 13 year old children who have experienced a tragic occurrence that many adults cannot even fathom. What must they think? How can they comprehend a friend their age vanishing? Do they cling to their parents? Do they worry about disappearing themselves?
Lindsey's mother speaks first and then encourages the other families to share their stories. We hear from the family of Teekah Lewis. Teekah was only 2 years old when she disappeared from Tacoma on 1-23-99. A shy toddler who was frightened of strangers, Teekah was abducted from a local bowling alley where she had been on a normal family outing. I glance down at Teekah's flyer, it shows her age progression to 14 years. I cannot even imagine how this family feels, and I was a mother of a missing child. The family of Alyssa McLemore share the story of a 21 year old young woman who went missing from Kent on 4-9-09. Alyssa lived with her grandmother and dying mother. She had called to say she was on her way home, she never made it. Her mother passed away 3 days later. One day after her disappearance a 911 call was placed from her cell phone. The female caller asked for help and then the line went dead. The authorities were unable to get a location of the caller, although they do believe it originated in the Kent area. Alyssa had a 3 year old daughter at the time , I meet this now 6 year old beautiful child, along with Alyssa's sister, who told me Alyssa never would have left her daughter. Danica Childs vanished on 12-21-07, also from the Kent area. She was 17 years old at the time of her disappearance and left her cell phone, purse, and coat never to be seen again. Another family's pain readily on display. Christopher Virdell went missing on 2-19-12. He is 18 years old and was last seen leaving a friends house to catch a bus to work. I had met his mother when I first arrived, immediately identifying the raw emotion of someone to whom this is all so new. Fresh to the missing person's world, unsure of so many things. It breaks my heart to know that she may become more like the rest of us, comfortable in this type of setting. Of course I gravitated right to her, as I always do to mom's of missing teenaged boys...
After the balloon release we steered the families to our banner so that they could all sign it. This is the first time since I've been on the tour that we have done this. At previous stops we directed the family members to sign along the edges in the border area. However, this was a large group so we just started handing out markers. In the dark, we just let them at the banner without any direction. As we watched most found the faces of their missing loved one and wrote heart-wrenching pleas and love yous....
Elisa Stirling
Tonight's rally was organized by the family of Lindsey Baum. She was 10 years old when she went missing from the small town of McCleary on 6-29-09. She was walking home from a friend's home, a route she knew well and walked often. A short walk down a densely populated suburban street. On this evening, however, she never arrived home. I meet many members of her family, and some of her friends. 12 or 13 year old children who have experienced a tragic occurrence that many adults cannot even fathom. What must they think? How can they comprehend a friend their age vanishing? Do they cling to their parents? Do they worry about disappearing themselves?
Lindsey's mother speaks first and then encourages the other families to share their stories. We hear from the family of Teekah Lewis. Teekah was only 2 years old when she disappeared from Tacoma on 1-23-99. A shy toddler who was frightened of strangers, Teekah was abducted from a local bowling alley where she had been on a normal family outing. I glance down at Teekah's flyer, it shows her age progression to 14 years. I cannot even imagine how this family feels, and I was a mother of a missing child. The family of Alyssa McLemore share the story of a 21 year old young woman who went missing from Kent on 4-9-09. Alyssa lived with her grandmother and dying mother. She had called to say she was on her way home, she never made it. Her mother passed away 3 days later. One day after her disappearance a 911 call was placed from her cell phone. The female caller asked for help and then the line went dead. The authorities were unable to get a location of the caller, although they do believe it originated in the Kent area. Alyssa had a 3 year old daughter at the time , I meet this now 6 year old beautiful child, along with Alyssa's sister, who told me Alyssa never would have left her daughter. Danica Childs vanished on 12-21-07, also from the Kent area. She was 17 years old at the time of her disappearance and left her cell phone, purse, and coat never to be seen again. Another family's pain readily on display. Christopher Virdell went missing on 2-19-12. He is 18 years old and was last seen leaving a friends house to catch a bus to work. I had met his mother when I first arrived, immediately identifying the raw emotion of someone to whom this is all so new. Fresh to the missing person's world, unsure of so many things. It breaks my heart to know that she may become more like the rest of us, comfortable in this type of setting. Of course I gravitated right to her, as I always do to mom's of missing teenaged boys...
After the balloon release we steered the families to our banner so that they could all sign it. This is the first time since I've been on the tour that we have done this. At previous stops we directed the family members to sign along the edges in the border area. However, this was a large group so we just started handing out markers. In the dark, we just let them at the banner without any direction. As we watched most found the faces of their missing loved one and wrote heart-wrenching pleas and love yous....
Elisa Stirling
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Another Look at Bellingham
Over the past six years since Allison went missing and was then recovered many have come into my life who have become like family, many whom I feel a special bond with; Kara Roberts is one of those people. Perhaps it is because she was one of the first people I spent time with on this journey who had a missing person. I recall meeting Kara for the first time as she came to help and support me at a press conference for Allison in Raleigh NC. Maybe it's all that and the fact that she too had a younger sister missing and became the voice for Leah as I did for Allison. Whatever it is I feel honored to be here today at this rally stop and press conference, honored to come to Washington state and hear Leah's story again, actually seeing where it all took place and seeing the roots of this Road Tour that helps so many in Leah's name.
We travel with the detective on Leah's case to have a look at Leah's vehicle, which was difficult and then we leave him and travel up to the mountain where the vehicle was found. Twelve years later the search for answers and resolution continues. Kara's journey and search for answers has been much longer than mine was. I know that the not knowing, the living in limbo is the hardest part. As the detective on her case said this morning; "It is chronic sorrow." and that is the part that so many do not
understand, you live with it everyday and it is a part of who you are. Your life is forever different and you find a way to live differently.
As we sit in the sheriff's office prior to the press conference outside the Whatcom County Court House meeting with law enforcement I replay a similar scene in my own mind with me where Kara sits and all the law enforcement on Allison's case. Kara is here again asking questions and making sure she understands all that there is on Leah's case and discussing in detail all that is going on. She gives more information to her law enforcement team on who Leah is. It is extremely difficult living in another state from where your loved one went missing especially one so far away. Today is almost like reliving it all over again from the beginning, it's always right there and fresh and Kara knows this needs to be done.
We head out to the press conference and again all these years later it must seem so surreal, like you are living in some bad movie or having a bad dream. No one should have to live not knowing where their loved one is, yet the reality is far too many do.
As I listen to Kara speak I am moved as I always am when families share their hearts. More than that I am impressed, impressed by her dedication and resolve to see all of this through until there is resolution, impressed because through Leah and her story so many others are being helped and getting much needed attention. I get the sense that Kara feels the way I and so many other families of the missing do; if Leah's case and story and Kara's journey helps someone else who walks in these shoes, then there is grace in that.
Kara is so thankful to CUE and all of us for being here, but the thanks really belong to her, it is her hardwork and dedication and commitment that has brought all of us here today. I feel blessed to know her and I know that wherever Leah is she too feels that unending love and determination of a sister who will never give up and who leaves this world a better place by who she is and what she does in Leah's name for others on the same path.
We get in the van to begin the long drive to the next stop and I say a prayer for Leah and Kara, my heart is full.
Lisa Valentino
We travel with the detective on Leah's case to have a look at Leah's vehicle, which was difficult and then we leave him and travel up to the mountain where the vehicle was found. Twelve years later the search for answers and resolution continues. Kara's journey and search for answers has been much longer than mine was. I know that the not knowing, the living in limbo is the hardest part. As the detective on her case said this morning; "It is chronic sorrow." and that is the part that so many do not
understand, you live with it everyday and it is a part of who you are. Your life is forever different and you find a way to live differently.
As we sit in the sheriff's office prior to the press conference outside the Whatcom County Court House meeting with law enforcement I replay a similar scene in my own mind with me where Kara sits and all the law enforcement on Allison's case. Kara is here again asking questions and making sure she understands all that there is on Leah's case and discussing in detail all that is going on. She gives more information to her law enforcement team on who Leah is. It is extremely difficult living in another state from where your loved one went missing especially one so far away. Today is almost like reliving it all over again from the beginning, it's always right there and fresh and Kara knows this needs to be done.
We head out to the press conference and again all these years later it must seem so surreal, like you are living in some bad movie or having a bad dream. No one should have to live not knowing where their loved one is, yet the reality is far too many do.
As I listen to Kara speak I am moved as I always am when families share their hearts. More than that I am impressed, impressed by her dedication and resolve to see all of this through until there is resolution, impressed because through Leah and her story so many others are being helped and getting much needed attention. I get the sense that Kara feels the way I and so many other families of the missing do; if Leah's case and story and Kara's journey helps someone else who walks in these shoes, then there is grace in that.
Kara is so thankful to CUE and all of us for being here, but the thanks really belong to her, it is her hardwork and dedication and commitment that has brought all of us here today. I feel blessed to know her and I know that wherever Leah is she too feels that unending love and determination of a sister who will never give up and who leaves this world a better place by who she is and what she does in Leah's name for others on the same path.
We get in the van to begin the long drive to the next stop and I say a prayer for Leah and Kara, my heart is full.
Lisa Valentino
Another Look at Vancouver
On to the next stop, Vancouver Washington. We arrive and are met by Starr Lara, Jamie Grissim's sister. You can feel in her hug how grateful she is that we are here. Once again that experience of someone else cares and I am not alone in this.
Looking at old photographs and mementos and holding this rally stop at the high school Jamie went to many thoughts begin running through my head. All of the whys and what if's and how comes. You begin to think about all the times you never got to have with your loved one and all the memories that never got made. Starr and Jamie had a difficult life to start with and then suddenly your sister is gone and you are left to go at it alone. You can see and feel that Starr lives with the pain of not having her sister Jamie daily. We talk a bit about this and she tells me; "I think about Jamie every day." Even forty one years later.
These feelings and emotions are not just something that dissipate and go away over the years. These are real people and real lives we are talking about and there is no "neat"way to tie everything all up and make it better or OK. We don't forget because we can't and we shouldn't. The statement; "Every missing person is someone's loved one" never rang truer and everyone who has been a part of this Road Tour definitely feels that and knows it to be true.
We all take some flower petals of many different colors and head over to the high school sign to let the wind take them and to share some thoughts and prayer. It is a beautiful sight and a nice way to remember Jamie.
As we pack to leave there is always a sense of needing more time or not wanting this time to end. Every journey is always easier when you have support and know that you do not travel alone. Even though it is time for us to go, we are not gone. We, CUE is always here and I leave knowing these families get that.
Lisa Valentino
Looking at old photographs and mementos and holding this rally stop at the high school Jamie went to many thoughts begin running through my head. All of the whys and what if's and how comes. You begin to think about all the times you never got to have with your loved one and all the memories that never got made. Starr and Jamie had a difficult life to start with and then suddenly your sister is gone and you are left to go at it alone. You can see and feel that Starr lives with the pain of not having her sister Jamie daily. We talk a bit about this and she tells me; "I think about Jamie every day." Even forty one years later.
These feelings and emotions are not just something that dissipate and go away over the years. These are real people and real lives we are talking about and there is no "neat"way to tie everything all up and make it better or OK. We don't forget because we can't and we shouldn't. The statement; "Every missing person is someone's loved one" never rang truer and everyone who has been a part of this Road Tour definitely feels that and knows it to be true.
We all take some flower petals of many different colors and head over to the high school sign to let the wind take them and to share some thoughts and prayer. It is a beautiful sight and a nice way to remember Jamie.
As we pack to leave there is always a sense of needing more time or not wanting this time to end. Every journey is always easier when you have support and know that you do not travel alone. Even though it is time for us to go, we are not gone. We, CUE is always here and I leave knowing these families get that.
Lisa Valentino
Rally Stop Salem, Oregon
Today is the honoree stop, we keep in tradition of the tour, Kerry Johnson. We chose her this year because her case has never received any press or attention to speak of and it went cold pretty fast. That is what the tour is about, a renewed hope, but more importantly to highlight those who have not been recognized by the media or have fallen from the headline at any level. I call cases like this one "the Lifer's" because they have been handed a life sentence of punishment, but have not committed a crime. I started another blog a few months ago just for that purpose and have personally written many cases to be included over the last seven years we have. It becomes so over whelming that it has been hard to start entering the many cases.
It was nice to have Michelle as a state director at this stop, she worked very hard on every detail to make the event special and it showed. Family members came in from various areas and some a great distance, it makes you think back to all the years her loved ones have gone without case movement and dangling in an unknown state of their loved ones whereabouts. Their are so many like her, it leaves you on most days wondering and shaking your head. It instills a determination to work even harder to find some truth; you see that is what these cases lack, a determined investigation commitment to find the truth.
I sat watching the public wander up for additional information, speaking with the family who sat in a line of chairs, while music from the past played in the background. I watched the family in a relaxed mode enjoying the entire day and just being together, listening at one point on how much they missed her as they share stories of her. Kerry would have never gone all this time without contacting someone.
I think to myself of how the times were back then and question myself if she was a victim of some serial killer, because she did hitch hike, she lived carefree as many young people did, and sadden by the realization of no real ground to begin to search for her. Soon speaking with the family I am renewed with hope as we develop new goals for the case and have a plan to move forward,
It truly was a good day! I left eager to begin.....
Monica Caison
It was nice to have Michelle as a state director at this stop, she worked very hard on every detail to make the event special and it showed. Family members came in from various areas and some a great distance, it makes you think back to all the years her loved ones have gone without case movement and dangling in an unknown state of their loved ones whereabouts. Their are so many like her, it leaves you on most days wondering and shaking your head. It instills a determination to work even harder to find some truth; you see that is what these cases lack, a determined investigation commitment to find the truth.
I sat watching the public wander up for additional information, speaking with the family who sat in a line of chairs, while music from the past played in the background. I watched the family in a relaxed mode enjoying the entire day and just being together, listening at one point on how much they missed her as they share stories of her. Kerry would have never gone all this time without contacting someone.
I think to myself of how the times were back then and question myself if she was a victim of some serial killer, because she did hitch hike, she lived carefree as many young people did, and sadden by the realization of no real ground to begin to search for her. Soon speaking with the family I am renewed with hope as we develop new goals for the case and have a plan to move forward,
It truly was a good day! I left eager to begin.....
Monica Caison
Monday, September 24, 2012
Another Look at Salem Oregon
Saturday September 22nd Salem Oregon; 18 years ago today Community United Effort; Cue Center for Missing Persons was founded. What better way to acknowledge this organization that has helped so many and continues to do so than being out on the road today doing one of the many things CUE does so well; supporting families and bringing much needed attention to the missing who are from our own communities where we live.
This stop features the Tour honoree Kerry Johnson and it is awesome to see CUE's State Outreach Coordinator from Oregon on hand and fully invested at this stop. Michelle Mounts has played a huge part in helping Kerry Johnsons's family make this stop happen. Michelle has brought with her family and friends making this truly a Community United Effort.
As I begin taking pictures of the stop I come upon the family and introduce myself. Thirty years later and still no answers......unbelievable. I cannot even imagine, it's just not right. For me that not knowing was always the hardest part. I imagine thirty years of getting up every morning and wondering, thirty years of searching and constantly looking over your shoulder, thirty years of living without your loved one. What gets a family like this through? I am sure that it is different for all, whether it be faith or that feeling of commitment and doing the right thing, or hope. Without hope what is there? Perhaps it's determination and not wanting there to be any more damage to a family already in pain. I know many times that these cases can tear a family apart and change the family relationships and dynamics forever. I experienced some of that in my own family. More than likely what keeps a family like this going is simply love.
The stop is in the parking lot of a busy mall and many people pass by, some stop and take a deeper look and ask questions and that is half the battle. Awareness; all it takes is one person to come forward and share something that has never been shared before, that one missing piece of the puzzle, the final one that can and will bring resolution to a family. The one that can bring home a missing loved one even thirty years later!
Lisa Valentino
This stop features the Tour honoree Kerry Johnson and it is awesome to see CUE's State Outreach Coordinator from Oregon on hand and fully invested at this stop. Michelle Mounts has played a huge part in helping Kerry Johnsons's family make this stop happen. Michelle has brought with her family and friends making this truly a Community United Effort.
As I begin taking pictures of the stop I come upon the family and introduce myself. Thirty years later and still no answers......unbelievable. I cannot even imagine, it's just not right. For me that not knowing was always the hardest part. I imagine thirty years of getting up every morning and wondering, thirty years of searching and constantly looking over your shoulder, thirty years of living without your loved one. What gets a family like this through? I am sure that it is different for all, whether it be faith or that feeling of commitment and doing the right thing, or hope. Without hope what is there? Perhaps it's determination and not wanting there to be any more damage to a family already in pain. I know many times that these cases can tear a family apart and change the family relationships and dynamics forever. I experienced some of that in my own family. More than likely what keeps a family like this going is simply love.
The stop is in the parking lot of a busy mall and many people pass by, some stop and take a deeper look and ask questions and that is half the battle. Awareness; all it takes is one person to come forward and share something that has never been shared before, that one missing piece of the puzzle, the final one that can and will bring resolution to a family. The one that can bring home a missing loved one even thirty years later!
Lisa Valentino
Vancouver, Washington
On December 7, 1971, 16 year old Jamie Grissim left her foster home to go to Fort Vancouver high school ( in Clark County ) and never returned. Her foster mother never bothered to report her missing, and it was a month before a report was initiated by her caseworker. Police found her wallet and other personal effects 5 months later in east Clark County. A year later, a woman's body was found in northern Clark County. After another year, the skeletal remains of 2 young women were found 100 feet apart, a mile from where Jaime's ID's were discovered. These cases are linked to a man who worked for the Clark County parks system and had keys to every gate in every park in the county. He is suspected in at least 3 more abductions. Over 40 years later, Jaime remains a missing person.
The rally stop is held on the grounds of Jaime's old high school, hosted by her sister Starr, who was 14 when Jaime vanished decades ago. Starr greets us with a big smile and lots of hugs. She is anxious to share an old photo album full of school photos and other smiling pictures of Jaime. Her precious mementos include those items that were recovered by the police. She tells us how proud Jaime was of that laminated school ID card. I listen as she reminisces with old friends...who attended which school, who hung out with who...I learn that the school was brand new when Jaime attended it in 1971. The missing person flyer she hands me has a picture of Jaime age progressed to 51 years. I personally find Starr an amazing, fascinating, and strong woman, having read stories about her life while researching the cases for this tour. So I at first was interested in her relating how she had doubts about doing this today...But then don't we all second guess ourselves and struggle with doubt at times?
Starr had a large candle set out on a table to light, but a friend had brought a bunch of very colorful flowers and it was decided to pull the petals and toss them into the wind. Just as the group gathered on the steps to the high school the wind died down. So we regrouped and instead tossed them around the school sign. It made for a beautiful sight and tribute to Jaime.
Elisa Stirling
The rally stop is held on the grounds of Jaime's old high school, hosted by her sister Starr, who was 14 when Jaime vanished decades ago. Starr greets us with a big smile and lots of hugs. She is anxious to share an old photo album full of school photos and other smiling pictures of Jaime. Her precious mementos include those items that were recovered by the police. She tells us how proud Jaime was of that laminated school ID card. I listen as she reminisces with old friends...who attended which school, who hung out with who...I learn that the school was brand new when Jaime attended it in 1971. The missing person flyer she hands me has a picture of Jaime age progressed to 51 years. I personally find Starr an amazing, fascinating, and strong woman, having read stories about her life while researching the cases for this tour. So I at first was interested in her relating how she had doubts about doing this today...But then don't we all second guess ourselves and struggle with doubt at times?
Starr had a large candle set out on a table to light, but a friend had brought a bunch of very colorful flowers and it was decided to pull the petals and toss them into the wind. Just as the group gathered on the steps to the high school the wind died down. So we regrouped and instead tossed them around the school sign. It made for a beautiful sight and tribute to Jaime.
Elisa Stirling
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Rally Stop Mendocino, California
We arrived late the night before because of a promise, a promise that I would set aside to go out and shoot coordinates for an upcoming search for Kathy; you see they have been waiting and the time has come to renew that effort for her. So, I got up early the next morning and we set out riding around to locations, discussing locations and doing some prep work, leaving not much time to get to the next rally stop that mid morning. The day was beautiful and surrounded by the ocean's beauty and hidden places we passed by that if time had allowed I would have turned around to go back for a second look.
Arrival to the church was very calm, welcomed in by the hungry eyes of many there, I always notice the different looks missing persons families have, it is something you just learn and in time just know. I was standing a little away from everyone for just a few minutes, silently praying for a good day, a peaceful day when walking up my way i noticed the "cop" walk, I welcomed him in appreciation, we immediately found a corner to have a private time and talk, it was a good one and much needed for the case ahead.
The event began just a bit late but it was okay, it was a very relaxing setting and mood. As each person spoke I listened, sometimes looking out to the ocean, searching for maybe some answers at times in the vast sea of a reflection. The only ones I got were not those I liked at all. The rally stops are so important, but often a hard reality that more work lies ahead in every case we have, never enough hours in a day, month or year. I always find myself wondering why many live life unscarred and so many I have met "not so much luck with that escape". Not that I would ever wish anything like having a missing person on anyone, but just in need of an answer to that question, and again it never comes.
Today the cry for help was heard by all for missing David and Kathy, media did a great story, law enforcement still offers a relentless dedication, these things are important. The church, the ocean, the soft drum beat played, candles lit all in honor of those never to be forgotten. Shelli has and continues to do an amazing job in her devotion to her missing loved one as thousands across the country do, but she is scarred and it shows, I do not feel as bad leaving this stop because I know we will be back soon for a search....I know she will be okay for now until we return.
Monica caison
Arrival to the church was very calm, welcomed in by the hungry eyes of many there, I always notice the different looks missing persons families have, it is something you just learn and in time just know. I was standing a little away from everyone for just a few minutes, silently praying for a good day, a peaceful day when walking up my way i noticed the "cop" walk, I welcomed him in appreciation, we immediately found a corner to have a private time and talk, it was a good one and much needed for the case ahead.
The event began just a bit late but it was okay, it was a very relaxing setting and mood. As each person spoke I listened, sometimes looking out to the ocean, searching for maybe some answers at times in the vast sea of a reflection. The only ones I got were not those I liked at all. The rally stops are so important, but often a hard reality that more work lies ahead in every case we have, never enough hours in a day, month or year. I always find myself wondering why many live life unscarred and so many I have met "not so much luck with that escape". Not that I would ever wish anything like having a missing person on anyone, but just in need of an answer to that question, and again it never comes.
Today the cry for help was heard by all for missing David and Kathy, media did a great story, law enforcement still offers a relentless dedication, these things are important. The church, the ocean, the soft drum beat played, candles lit all in honor of those never to be forgotten. Shelli has and continues to do an amazing job in her devotion to her missing loved one as thousands across the country do, but she is scarred and it shows, I do not feel as bad leaving this stop because I know we will be back soon for a search....I know she will be okay for now until we return.
Monica caison
Salem, Oregon
Kerry Johnson's rally stop was hosted by CUE's Oregon State Coordinator Michelle Mounts. She had all the CUE paraphernalia already all set up when we arrived so we were pretty much good to go when we got there. It was a nice change not having to lug everything out of and back into the van. We were able to relax a little more than we usually can during a stop.
Kerry Johnson was 17 years old when she went missing 9-14-82. She had been alone and on her way to visit family. The 30th anniversary of her disappearance has just passed. Unimaginable, seriously... She is this year's tour honoree, an honor given to a case that maybe never got any press, or really needs some press. Although, all cases on the tour are usually like that. Every year the honoree is chosen first and then the route and the other stops are built around it.
4 other cases were highlighted at this event. Samuel Boehlke was 8 years old when he went missing on 10-14-06. He was on a trip with his father at Crater Lake National Park and vanished into the woods. Sammy was autistic and feared loud noises and bright lights which complicated search efforts since they could not use the customary air horns or whistles. John Hicks went missing from Oakridge on 9-7-08. He was 47 years old. He is mentally challenged and left his trailer with only his cell phone. His sister says that she knew something wasn't right when she learned that he had not taken his dog with him. Jesus Merino-Mendoza was 3 years old when he was abducted by his father. There was a restraining order in effect prohibiting contact with both his wife and son. A felony warrant has been issued. Deward Killion vanished from Umatilla on 8-15-07 at the age of 85. He was last seen at the Target Meadows Campground where he had been camping with his wife and some friends. Searches of the area have not provided any information.
Family members of Kerry Johnson in attendance included her father, big sister, aunt and a cousin. When we arrived they were all sitting in a row. As I walked over to look at her posters and visit with them I was struck by some thoughts that were different for me. Normally my perspective is that of the mother of a missing loved one. I tend to gravitate and identify with the parents, but Kerry is only a few years older than I and has been gone for so long. I think it also was the pictures of a teenage girl in those 80's clothes. I thought of my mom, my family...but then I started talking with her sister Connie, and became curious about her mother. It seems that she is unable to attend events like these. That she chooses to believe that Kerry is out there, alive, living somewhere. Connie said it is the only way she can cope and looked at me as if to either apologize for her mother or explain that no one else believes this. And the missing child's mom immediately came back. No one can tell you how to feel, what to believe, how you should cope or how you should behave. It is a journey that no one wants to be on, that most cannot fathom...and there is no correct path. Then she told me that when her father found out that Kerry was missing the first thing he said was that he was never going to see her again. Connie said I guess he was right.
Elisa Stirling
Kerry Johnson was 17 years old when she went missing 9-14-82. She had been alone and on her way to visit family. The 30th anniversary of her disappearance has just passed. Unimaginable, seriously... She is this year's tour honoree, an honor given to a case that maybe never got any press, or really needs some press. Although, all cases on the tour are usually like that. Every year the honoree is chosen first and then the route and the other stops are built around it.
4 other cases were highlighted at this event. Samuel Boehlke was 8 years old when he went missing on 10-14-06. He was on a trip with his father at Crater Lake National Park and vanished into the woods. Sammy was autistic and feared loud noises and bright lights which complicated search efforts since they could not use the customary air horns or whistles. John Hicks went missing from Oakridge on 9-7-08. He was 47 years old. He is mentally challenged and left his trailer with only his cell phone. His sister says that she knew something wasn't right when she learned that he had not taken his dog with him. Jesus Merino-Mendoza was 3 years old when he was abducted by his father. There was a restraining order in effect prohibiting contact with both his wife and son. A felony warrant has been issued. Deward Killion vanished from Umatilla on 8-15-07 at the age of 85. He was last seen at the Target Meadows Campground where he had been camping with his wife and some friends. Searches of the area have not provided any information.
Family members of Kerry Johnson in attendance included her father, big sister, aunt and a cousin. When we arrived they were all sitting in a row. As I walked over to look at her posters and visit with them I was struck by some thoughts that were different for me. Normally my perspective is that of the mother of a missing loved one. I tend to gravitate and identify with the parents, but Kerry is only a few years older than I and has been gone for so long. I think it also was the pictures of a teenage girl in those 80's clothes. I thought of my mom, my family...but then I started talking with her sister Connie, and became curious about her mother. It seems that she is unable to attend events like these. That she chooses to believe that Kerry is out there, alive, living somewhere. Connie said it is the only way she can cope and looked at me as if to either apologize for her mother or explain that no one else believes this. And the missing child's mom immediately came back. No one can tell you how to feel, what to believe, how you should cope or how you should behave. It is a journey that no one wants to be on, that most cannot fathom...and there is no correct path. Then she told me that when her father found out that Kerry was missing the first thing he said was that he was never going to see her again. Connie said I guess he was right.
Elisa Stirling
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